Sime says

Talk about pressing the flesh: he was barely recognizable, save for a tuft of stiff quills glued upright on the bitumen. Feet splayed, body flattened, what an undignified end it was to a strong, silent type. After much scraping and swallowing of grief, I shoveled the flat pack of feathers off the road. January 2015 marked a seven-year itch between me and my feathered friend, a male Tawny Frogmouth. Our courtship began in 2008 when I granted him roosting rights in the 100-year-old lily pily tree growing in my back garden in suburban Sydney. We were birds of a feather. He was a bachelor on the wing, I was a solo man in search of a mate on solid ground. Every morning for seven years we gave each other a wink before he settled down for some shuteye after a night out, and I tried my luck in the big city. If your surname is Frogmouth, you’re not doing yourself any favours with the ladies. Wearing non-descript grey plumage is not ‘dressing to impress’ and the ability to defecate wi...

In securing its own rebel tour of the airwaves Cricket Australia (CA) has inadvertently taken the game away from Auntie ABC. Seeing a need to grow the audience and maintain the relevancy of Test Cricket, CA pushed the ball for a quick single in 2013/14 and has since hit plenty of boundaries by expanding coverage of cricket via commercial channels. There was a time via ABC radio when Norman May, Alan McGilvray, John Arlott, Brian Johnston, Christopher Martin-Jenkins and others – all A-grade men of the airwaves – would put you in the grandstands or in the middle of the SCG or Lords courtesy of their lyrical prose. This season, ABC Radio’s commentating batting order is looking decidedly shaky. Only Jim Maxwell is left at the crease. He has a team around him but they have a long way to go to cement positions. Drew Morphett has been dropped and Kerry O’Keeffe has walked – only to return to the top order at 2GB. Meanwhile, the Fairfax Radio Network is looking to top th...

Let's play a straight bat. There's something not right about Michael Clarke commentating on cricket while he his still an integral part of the Aussie side. Binga does it for the Sixers and so does KP for his team in the KFC Big Basheroo, so what's the problem with Clarke voicing his opinions on the men in white? Everything I rekon. Cos this is Test cricket, the sacred cow of the Aussie Summer. We can't have 'our' skipper batting for the other side, the media. Can we? Clarke looks immaculate and has fitted in seamlessly into the Channel 9 commentary lineup. It's no mean feat to crack it into Chapelli's domain and that of other past legendary Captains. But should the current Australian skipper be moonlighting high in the stands and sharing insight into the team he is still padded to? No. Early form suggests Clarke has done enough to cement his spot in Gyngell's squad and has positioned himself perfectly for life after playing cri...

Darren Lehmann, the one time nuggety lefthander, aka “boof”, “shrek” and the Australian cricket coach has received a one-year contract extension. The dismissal of Lehmann’s predecessor Mickey Arthur was ugly. Dressing room dramas and a forgettable tour of India were missiles in a final over that sent Arthur’s pegs flying. Boof took guard and within seven months, helped to orchestrate a five-nil Ashes series whitewash and a hard-fought series win in South Africa. Whilst many a cricket tragic could KISS the coach for helping to turn the national team’s fortunes, Lehmann just prefers to Keep It Simple Stupid. For that is his philosophy. Play in-your-face, ball-tearing, run-feasting, aggressive cricket. Take the game to the opposition and don’t die wondering. Skill, entertainment and clubbing the ball were Lehmann’s hallmarks during his playing days for South Australia, and Australia. He scored 44 tons at state level. “There was no bogey team for Boof, he just accum...

When will the agony end? Never if you tune in to commercial TV. It’s time to stop kissing helmets, looking to the heavens and painting the ground in numbers. Just play cricket. In recent weeks, spectators and non-spectators have been told that cricket is to Australia as honey is to bees. Joined at the hip we are, or by the bottom, if you’re a bee.  Cricket is part of every Australian’s DNA, infused into the vegemite that we smear on our toast and faces when young. That’s why we feel the loss of one of our own, so much more . Is it? Well pass me the KFC bucket for I’m feeling bilious and ready to strip off the pads. The commentary of late is sick making and the players’ antics are crafted for the camera. Lets move on and let the willow smash a new path to the boundary. The real boundary, the fenceline, not some poncy cushioned hemline. It’s too easy to hark back to past cricket eras but they do look good in comparison to what’s being dished up early in...