Please be seated

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Top deck, front row seats, a 180-degree panoramic view of the Sydney Cricket Ground. Is there a better way for one sport obsessive to start 2012?

It’s all over now: Ricky Ponting and David Hussey played for their places in the team and Michael Clark thought the best way to win admiration from a demanding Australian public was to score runs. And that he did … many hundreds in fact.

The Sydney test match is an occasion not just for wearers of the baggy green. For spectators it represents five consecutive days to sit or stand at the bar, drink bucket loads of beer and cheer on the jolly chaps dressed in white. It means so much to so many: farmers catch-up with mates, fathers bring their sons in the hope of scoring a signature on their bat before the end of play, and members jostle for prime seats in the stands behind the bowlers arm. And that’s where the fun begins. 

This year the chubby chequer seated to my left would have made a great umpire and a batsman’s best friend. Her crossed arms didn't move all day except when she lifted the lid on a Tupperware container and tucked into one of a dozen chocolate muffins, before offering one to her father who was a mirror image of his daughter.  There was no applause to signify the sweet timing of a Tendulkar-struck ball to the boundary. No appreciation of any of the Indian batsmen’s feats. Ok,  the curry munchas underperformed and Tendulkar missed cracking his 100th 100 at the ground but fair play should have seen her acknowledge the talent on both sides before moving on to a ham and cheese roll for mains.

Swivel to my right and it wasn’t for any spicy wafts of a vindaloo. Instead all things diced and green jumped at me with the fall of every wicket . Massive cucumbers to rival Jack and his beanstalk were consumed with ruthless efficiency by a young lass who was more interested in chomping and chatting than watching the game.

So there I was sandwiched between a veggie patch and Martha and her muffins. I had the The World’s Biggest Loser on one side and a green thumb on my right. But all was not lost as some things stay the same at this hallowed ground. Behind me sat Bettty. At 91 not out, she’s been a regular at the SCG for more than 50 years. A keen follower of the game, a stickler for traditions and a lover of Michael Clarke, she didn't belch, fart or fidget and is a delight to talk too every year. 

With the third test about to get underway in Perth, no doubt there’ll be a feast of runs scored out in the middle and plenty of munchin’ goin on in the stands. It’s all food for thought!  Go Orstralia! 

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