Keeping up with the Joneses

As if life it isn’t hard enough to stay ahead of the pack, now a commercial radio program has turned into Aunty overnight.

Quicker than Jamie Whincup piloted his petrol tank to victory at Mt Panorama yesterday, the Macquarie Network has pulled, or strategically withdrawn all advertising from a certain morning radio program.

Now, without any ad breaks, what hope does one have in keeping up with the spurious hyperbole that fills the airwaves during a certain breakfast radio show. At least with a short drink’s break provided by Kemeny’s, enjoying a free ride around the block in a Merc and listening to a warm word from Woollies, one was spared from a troll’s tirade, if only for 90 seconds or so. But now there is no toilet break, unless you tune in from London; there’s not even a drinks session. Instead, it’s all out attack across the airwaves, like Chris Gayle and the Calypso Kings hitting the Sri Lankans for six in double quick time and claiming the spoils.

Whether playing cricket, driving 161 laps around Bathurst’s shrine at breakneck speed or talking for four hours straight in a radio studio, when your opponent’s on the rack, put your foot to the floor and give it too him right in the tonsils. “It’s Valvoline, know what I mean?” The gloves are off and everyone is fighting: it’s a bully boy, social media and shock jock sandwich. It’s doing wonders for the ratings but nothing for the community. Dumb is getting dumber and angst continues to dominate the public discourse.

So who will win? Speak ill of the dead, shout “liar liar”, claim the dog ate your game plan and Billy Slater’s ear, and you’re bound to come out on top.