SINK, SWIM or just for laughs?

On Budget night I stood at the kitchen basin doing the dishes while frog face ribbited on in the background. The Treasurer tried in vain to gild a pond full of lily pads, anything to make a deficit sound better than a surplus. “Ribbit.” Before his half hour was up, I pulled the plug and watched the water run down the drain, taking Swan’s surplus, the baby bonus and other scraps with it. As the water receded, there were gurgles down the pipeline, somewhere near the S-bend where the bonus backed up against a stack of poker machines. I better call the plumber.

On this night of nights to rival ker.. ker.. ker.. ker… Kevin singing on The Voice, it occurred to one Single Income No Kid or Selfishly Willful Independent Mogul like me that I’m no drain on the state. Unless you’re a ‘couple’, a ‘family’ or a ‘pensioner’, singletons hardly rate a mention on the night the nation counts its pennies.

But there are advantages to bucking the national trend. In SWIM mode, a freestyle way of life is hedonism in its purist form. No need to spend money on a bonus babyccino full of froth, I’d rather fork-out top dollar on juicy lamb for my birds.

Next morning, four become seven, quite literally overnight: perhaps the Treasurer had redeemed himself and had in fact produced something extra? No, these are feathered not rubbery figures that stand on two legs along the balcony balustrade: Kookaburras newly fledged and introduced to Wayne’s world for the first time.

Given the scarcity of winged fauna in Sydney, seven birds in the hand represent the kind of surplus all parties support. Kookaburra at-call interest varies every day at my place. That’s the way it has been for more than 20 years as generations of these calm and poised birds have ruled the roost. But in recent times, bird numbers have been low and I feared that perhaps one or two of the adults had “come out”. Could this happen to the King of the bush? Fear not, this kingfisher family was just waiting patiently, as it does, before increasing in numbers.

It’s no laughing matter, but without the baby bonus and with three ravenous young ones to support, it’s little wonder that this fabulous flock is fed on demand. During these times of economic malaise, there’s no belt tightening as I happily SINK money skywards.

Birds of a feather flock together and "with three generations of birdlife in my blood, I know what the punters want" – kilos of fresh, succulent lean-lamb trim served from paddock to beak. There’s no More Joyous offering than that!