WOOF!

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If one swallow doesn't make a summer, then why is a Swann going home for winter? This is anything but a single instance. Trott has already trotted off, Prior will be next to come up with a previous engagement hindering his selection and, if you believe the press, the English cricket team’s dressing room is rife with avian influenza. They are all shot ducks.

Graham Swann’s decision to retire mid-series is one of the most disrespectful, selfish, rude and self-obsessed decisions made in 2013, second only to Astro Boy’s white-anting of the ALP.

Lauded by some as being England’s best ever off-spinner, the 255-wicket-taking tweeker destroyed The Aussies in the Ashes series in England last summer and was Alistair Cook’s go-to man when a breakthrough was needed. Thank you Graham for bowling us over with your talent and for confirming that there is an “I” in team. Although you are not the first to spell it right, just ask Sebastian Vettel.

Surprised? Not really. We are all players in the ‘I’Pod, ‘I’Pad, ‘My’Space and ‘Me personally’ game of life, not just sport. ‘My’ neighbours have all nicked off now on their annual holidays without even a Christmas "cheerio" across the fence.

Sydney’s Christian leaders are on the case, apparently alarmed at ‘selfie’, the landmark word for 2013. God bless them. Perhaps it’s not all about us.

But for now it's “seeya swanny” and “ta-ta” neighbours, I’m happy with me and my dog. Maggi the lab actually belongs to my sister who has offloaded the bitch so that she can enjoy some “me” time overseas.


Merry Xmas and HNY, talk to you in 2014. Only if I feel like it.

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