Taking the Piss

“Taking liberties at the expense of others” is Wikibible’s definition of taking the piss.

There’s been a lot of piss taking lately, most notably in South Africa.
Ah yes “me lady.”

I really needed to take a piss but my girlfriend was on the loo. I was stumped, so what did I do? I blasted my way in, had a slash, vomited in a bucket, then grabbed my bat and ball and bounced back into bed. In the words of one serial piss taker on Wimbledon’s Centre Court, please, “you cannot be serious.”

Not to be outplayed by bubba Oscar’s performance, on the other side of the world, baby Prince George is pissing his pants. Wouldn’t you if confronted by a big painted Maori bottom during your first overseas trip at the tender age of eight months?

Such a graphic display during the little Prince’s travels to NZ must have him peeing to his heart’s content, wizzing wonderful golden rivers to match the colour of the crown that will one day sit upon his head. He might be the next in line to the throne but lets hope he’s suitably trained before sitting on it. I’d be surprised if number ones weren’t followed by multiples of twos, for it’s a lot for a little Prince to handle.

Perhaps Geoffrey Rush could step in to help stem the flow and offer the future King some free language lessons before he arrives in Australia. I suspect a new movie deal is also on the cards: The Prince’s Peni?

Incontinence strikes all of us at various times, including it would appear some sections of the NSW state labor government. They seem incapable of showing poise. In fact they’ve leaked all over the state and the whole place has gone to water, in the direction of Australian Water Holdings if you believe what some are saying.

I could plug the holes by leading Eddie Disobedient and other knuckleheads to the personal care section of my local supermarket. It’s a place I visit regularly, so often in fact, I’ve renamed it the wizzy aisle. Plenty of Poise here; Regular, Pad Superior; Pad Extra Plus; and even Pad Overnight for those leaks that are almost impossible to stop.

Well, there you have it. Having raked over a few of life’s topical events, I’ll piss off now but will leave you with this final spray. Taking the piss really belongs to a fictional character, one Cleaver Green, a brilliant but self-destructive Sydney barrister. But then again, when I hear Bob Carr talking about his diary and referring to “quotidian detail”, perhaps the vernacular truly belongs to him.  

Incompetence at the top and incontinence down below. There’s very little difference between the two.

For more harmless piss taking, this time on the footy field, visit

slayithere.com.au