Poos and Wees

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The AFL Grand Final is fast approaching and the urge to sit and expel thoughts is now.

If footy, in all its forms, is considered by some to be an anal game full of roughheads, then an anal sense of humour befits all ball sports.

Awash with brown and yellow on Saturday, the MCG is Australia’s super bowl. It’s the biggest day of the year, when all the hopes and dreams of one side will be flushed away while the other proudly claims the throne.

It’s the ones versus the twos. Where a quick slash and run by one side will decide the result or a tight tussle, full of push and shove will determine which team comes out on top. What a relief it will be when the siren sounds.

Best not get bogged down on the technicalities of a game when both sides are sure to spray and dump on one another. Harpic the herald angels sing, it’s going to be huge!

What about those brown shirts? Nothing as ugly as Adolf Hitler’s hideous wardrobe but you’d have to agree, Hawthorn’s mellow yellow and choc-coloured kit is a crook look.

Venturing into toxic territory, Sydney won’t escape the smear campaign. Well into the fourth quarter, the Swannies sorbent white strip will be soiled in earthy tones and all combatants should blend well will a Brownlow.

Wipe away any thought of losing. Will it be a buddy great day? Sydney to piss on the Hawks?

Or will the team affectionately known as the poos and wees produce a royal flush and send the Swannies swimming down the S bend?

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