"KPow"

“KPow!” Not a scene from Batman but the sound of a KFC Big Bash bucket of dirty flannels being tipped on teammates by a Safrican Pom.

What a load of twoddle from Kevin Pietersen, who is soon to take part in the Aussie summer of cricket. Yet another tell-all autobiographical expose, this one apparently full of cheesy moments, is available at all good bookstores.

Cricketers are always chewing gum and eating their hands, particularly in the slips cordon, but what is it about people who feel the need to bight off the hand that feeds them?

Knowing when to declare, up stumps and book a permanent seat in the grandstand is a moment of genius. Just ask Rabbitoh’s legend George Piggins. He fought a good fight, respectfully retreated when he knew his end was nigh, only to return last week and be welcomed back into the burrow with open paws. Throughout the process Piggins played a straight bat. Well played George.

I haven’t read KP’s book, nor do I intend too. If someone slips me a copy, I’d stack it in the garage, next to Lance Armstrong’s “It’s Not About The Bike”. No Lance, its all about you, isn’t it Kevin? I’ve seen enough of him to make me raise my finger.

Pietersen’s sulking behaviour, nibbling his nails and looking for his reflection in the crowd during the last Ashes tour in Australia was sad. He failed with the bat, snubbed the coach and was well and truly on the outer with the rest of the English team. One of the game’s cleanest ball strikers was hung out to dry through his own actions and the Australian sporting public had paid good money to watch him perform. We was robbed!

How many budding MCC cricketers would have busted their boxes to take his place on the field during the Ashes tour. Why wasn’t KP given his bat and ball and sent packing?

The sad fact is, Pietersen is sure to be a big hit, particularly in Melbourne, when he turns out for the Melbourne Stars in the upcoming Big Bash League. Now officially a pom ‘basher’,  he’s one of us, isn’t he?

The Aussie dressing room is not devoid of conflict. There have been and will continue to be plenty of Clarke/Katich moments behind closed doors. But lets draw the line at unedifying text messages and cull any cricketer from any country who believes they are God’s gift, even if they can hit a one iron!